Tired

I'm tired.

I feel like I could never sleep enough to gain the energy I used to have.

I got to hear my baby's heartbeat today and it made me so happy.

Stand up girls and dry your eyes.

I feel bad I'm the only one writing in here. I just don't want to let it fade away into the depths of internet.


I've been making my decisions in an irrational and childish way, but it's the only way that works right now. I ask a yes or no question and toss a rock. If the rock skips across the creek three times, the answer is yes. If it is less, the answer is no. I realize how it's like a little girl picking petals off of a flower, humming and saying "He loves me, he loves me not." The questions I ask are ones that really I should just let God give me the answers to.

But I feel guilty getting answers from God when I feel so helpless and stubborn.

she's so much more than worthless

"She's a question without answers, who feels
like falling apart.
She knows, she's so much more than worthless,
but she needs to find her purpose,
she wonders what she did to deserve this and..
She's calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out"
-TFK.



I need to find my purpose.