Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for my husband and my baby and the rest of my family.

I felt bad because at church everyone was thankful that they hadn't died from cancer, or that their brother who has AIDS is still alive, and that sort of thing.

My thanks seems so simple and unexciting, but I thank God every day for these people.

Life can be so crazy

I am still scared of the dark.

Happy thanksgiving.

A brief candle; both ends burning

An endless mile; a bus wheel turning

A friend to share the lonesome times

A handshake and a sip of wine

So say it loud and let it ring

We are all a part of everything

The future, present and the past

Fly on proud birdYou're free at last.

-charlie daniels

Today at lunch one of my good friends found out her boyfriend had killed himself last night. I was there when she found out. I'd only met him twice, but wow. It was very much unexpected. I'm in shock. I was over at her house for a while today.

Keep his family in your prayers? His sister died only a year ago of a meth overdose. That has to be SO hard to deal with.. 2 kids in a year.

Yeah.

ETA: I need to go talk to God. But I'm scared to, cause I haven't in what feels like ages. And I don't want another stupid week-long high where I'm super-spiritual and then I just..die, and conciously refuse to think of God. Fear of doing that keeps me from God. It's silly, and I can't stop crying. I want to get out of here.

"If you really knew me, you'd know that"

I use humor to cover my insecurities.

Ordinary?

I think I believe her when she says
"Life could be so simple if we'd all just learn to pray."

maybe they don't need me.

I've never felt so unwanted.