there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in

sometimes i get to thinking about heaven, like we're told to do by pastors or certain citations of the bible, but instead of reveling in what waits for me there i drag my thoughts around the idea that half the people i care for won't end up there with me. i listen to the music of elliott smith and identify with so many brilliant lines but in the end, he killed himself, and probably didn't make it to heaven.

i don't know, i just don't know how i feel sometimes about beliefs that overwhelm me with the condemnation of people i love. and then the burden on top of that, that their souls are somehow my responsibility.